Toenail Torture

I don’t think this is a good idea. We should get out of here.

Yesterday was Friday the 13th. Like all capybaras, I’m not superstitious, but I still should have known something bad would happen on that day. I never would have guessed just how bad it would be.

The morning started out normally enough. I got my usual 7:00 am yogurt. Delicious, as always. Afterward, I went to my bed in the dinning room (my owner calls this area “Caplin’s Corner.”) Through my sleepy ears, I listened to my owner’s normal morning routine: take a shower, feed the horses, get her stuff and go out to the car.

I heard her car pull out of the garage but it didn’t drive off. Instead, my owner got out and came back in the house. She got my harness and leash and came after me! She dragged me out to the car and off we went.

A few minutes later we stopped in a strip mall. Sheldon met us there and he got me out of the car. We went into a building that was vaguely familiar. I weighed in at 98.7 lbs. Then they took me to a little room. There was a bench in the room and I jumped up on that and sat with my owner while we waited for something to happen.

Me with my owner…waiting.

Me with Sheldon…still waiting.
Sheldon is wearing a capybara shirt from www.CafePress.com/CaplinRous.
It’s a drawing of him holding me last time we were at the vet.
The irony was not lost.

Eventually the vet and her helper came in. The vet checked my eyes and ears and listened to my heart and my breathing. Then came the bad part. She tried to grab my feet! My owner held me really tightly while the vet grabbed my hind paw and used some weird instrument on it. I squirmed and struggled and jerked my foot until I got away. My little heart pounded in my chest and–I’m embarrassed to say this–I urinated all over the floor. They wiped it up with towels and then got me a clean blanket to stand on.

The torture begins.

After a while, they tried again. The noise hurt my sensitive little ears. I could feel my foot vibrating. I kept imagining a serrated electric knife or a chain saw hacking away at my toenail, with only a matter of time until it reached my toe and then my foot! I eeped as loudly as I could but my owner only hugged me tighter. Finally I managed to struggle free. I stood panting on the blanket thinking the worst was over.They even put this blanket over me to lull me into a false sense of security.

But it wasn’t! A few minutes later, the vet came back! This time she tried to cut off my toenails–or was it my toes? I broke free again and at least got them to give up on the clipper. One small error and there goes my toe! But did they care?

After that, Sheldon held me down and the vet worked on my toenails with the mechanical grinder. Sheldon is strong and I couldn’t get away but I sure made it hard for the vet to use that “instrument” on me.

It looks like Sheldon is hugging me but really he’s restraining me for torture.

Finally, they let me go. I was exhausted. I just wanted to get out of there. Sheldon led me outside where I soon collected a group of admirers. After a few minutes, my owner came out and the three of us went to lunch. The ordeal ended with an uneventful trip home. What a relief.

I do have to admit that my toenails do look nicer now. And they were getting a bit in my way with how long they were. Still, I’m never going back!

(You can find a video of this event at www.YouTube.com/CaplinCapybara.)