Did y’all catch me on Animal Planet last night? I was the lead segment on the show Animal Planet’s Most Outrageous Odd Looking Pets. I’ll post a link to the video as soon as I can, for now hopefully you can just watch it over and over again on your DVR. I’ve watched it about 30 times already and I’m not tired of it yet.
Can’t say the same for the rest of the show though. Sure the long-haired Peruvian guinea pigs were cute, but not any cuter than my little Neptune who only made a cameo on my segment. They could have replaced those long-hairs with him. Then they could change the name of the show from odd looking to cutest.
What’s up with that anyway? Why did they throw me in with those odd-looking animals? I totally did not fit in. The next animal was Elwood, the ugliest dog. OMG! I do not belong on the same show with that animal. The featherless cockatoo, the super-muscled whippet and the gold-toothed cat were all diseased or had genetic deformities of some sort. The littlest dog looked like it was going to shake itself to death and the tallest dog can’t reach the ground to eat out of its food bowl.
How do I belong with those animals? I am the picture of health and grace. I can swim like an otter. I am fully furred (or as fully furred as any capybara). My teeth, while large, fit inside my mouth where they belong. I admit I am on the small side for a capybara, but not freakishly so. I feel sorry for those other animals, really I do, but that doesn’t mean I want to be lumped in with them. I guess it’s the price you pay for fame. Everyone has to pay their dues climbing the ladder to stardom.
Speaking of which, I suppose you have seen my appearance on KXAN? And this week I am also making a guest appearance on Enzoology. Hook your kiddos up with Enzo, he’s into science and capybaras and that makes him a cool kid in my book. We have a cute moment at the end of the video where Enzo thinks a popsicle is for him when it’s really for me. Silly kid, popsicles are for capybaras.
They had to scramble to earn their video of me.
Next on my voyage to stardom may be a stint on a reality show for The Learning Channel. Not sure about that yet. They say it is about people who are obsessed with their pets. Two things wrong with that. Firstly, it seems to put the emphasis on my owner instead of on me, where it belongs. Secondly, no level of devotion to a capybara could be considered obsessive. We deserve all the attention we get. And more.
(By the way, I do NOT eat 10 lbs of guinea pig food a day. I have no idea where AP got that.)