A fact that may surprise many humans is that the internet is slowly being taken over by animals. When you think about it, it makes sense. The internet is all about communicating interesting information from one–let’s call them “person”–to another–again just a convenient term and not meant to imply human–”person.” But what have humans got to say that’s all that interesting? Nothing, that’s what.
I was born on July 10, 2007. By August 21, when I was just over one month old, I wrote my first blog entry on MySpace. The title of that first post was “A day in the life of a capybara.” Admit it, it sounds interesting right? Don’t panic, here’s the link. Try substituting the world’s most populous vertebrate species for the word capybara in that title: A day in the life of a human. Are you yawning? I am.
About the same time I started blogging on MySpace, I fired up my own YouTube channel. As you can imagine, I was an immediate sensation. Well, not quite immediate. Since most people don’t even know what a capybara is, it took a little while for them to warm up to me. My first video was of me licking the camera. I was adorable. I’d give you the link but you already have the link to the channel main page and you really ought to watch all of my videos not just the one or two I might happen to mention.
After YouTube came FaceBook. Took me a little while to warm up to that one. Switching between MySpace and FaceBook paradigms is confusing to capy brains. It’s like humans are trying to torture us. Eventually I figured out most of FaceBook and now I think it’s kind of fun.
Then, of course, there is this blog. Right now it’s on BlogSpot but I’m hoping to move it to its own URL (www.GiantHamster.com).
The last thing I’ve taken up is twitter. At first I hated it. The whole thing is humans posting little bits of non-information that no one cares about at all. And doing it real-time as if that’s suddenly going to make it seem more important.
All of these internet outlets are called “social media.” Humans claim they are the most social species (I guess they don’t count ants, bees, termites and other obviously more social species, not to mention lichens and corals that are obligate symbiotes). But even granting them that title (which I am NOT), there are plenty of other social animals out there. And now we are taking over the internet!
I have to confess that I started the insurrection myself by building a guinea pig army on MySpace. Then I found General Napolean Buonaparte, a dog who is leader of L’Army des Animals on FaceBook. (Good job, Mon General!) And there are others, all working through the internet to transfer control of power from human to animal. (Ironically, the humans are always worrying about machines taking over. How silly is that?)
Along with our quest for world domination, we are not adverse to doing good deeds, especially if those good deeds come in the form of a party. Twitter is “The Place” for animal parties. I’ve been to two so far, @BrewstieButt, an artistic cat, organized a #pawpawty for his birthday. That was crazy! I also attended the bash put on by @FrugalDougal, a dog. Each of these #pawpawtys was a party and a fund-raising event for an animal-related charity. (It’s amazing the kind of cash we animals have access to. Kind-of explains the recession.)
You should see the things we animals do when no humans are around! ZOMG, it’s like we’re all dogs or something. The transformation of the cats from aloof to bawdy is nothing short of shocking. I’ve even taken cats on spins around the pool. I can’t say more or I might have to kill you–or at least bite you. You can read Brewskie’s owner’s blog about it here if you are interested (and you should be, for your own safety if nothing else).