I love squirrels, you know I do. As Rodent Royalty it is my responsibility to love all of my subjects. But sometimes they don’t make it easy.
I’m sure y’all remember my earlier post about my squirrel friend, Fluffy. If you don’t, you really should read that and watch the video before continuing. That post is titled, The Rodent Robber. I also have a The Rodent Robber (Part II: The Rat), which is about Bakersfield. Well worth reading. The two previous posts show just how hard it is to be a magnanimous ruler over the lesser rodents. It is hard. Very hard.
Most of the time it seems like squirrels are pretty lazy, even for rodents. I admire that. There is much to be learned from the squirrel in this regard. But when their laziness drives them to stealing, well, isn’t that different?
And stealing from the porch is one thing. I mean, the outside is their domain. Well, not really the porch though, that should count as part of the house and the house and the pool are mine. So that is where I draw the line. Only apparently Fluffy doesn’t even know about the line! Not that it’s on the porch or even the front door or even THE KITCHEN!
Why don’t you just help yourself, Fluffy?
Now I don’t know what to do. I only know how to open doors, I do not know how to close them. And if I leave the door open, Fluffy will come in and eat all of my food! Help! I need advice. What should I do?