Clean is for losers

I have had a very exciting weekend! Parts have been really fun and parts have been very stressful. There is just too much to cover in one blog post. Or two. Hopefully I can fit it all in three but it may stretch out to four. We’ll see. This is the first installment and it is all about mud.

Me and my mud

In the two photos above you can see how much I love mud. But I don’t only get muddy when I have my harness on.

Post-walk cleansing

The annoying thing about mud and my harness is that Melly makes me take a bath in my little green pool before I can go in the house or into the big pool. Melly won’t take my harness off until I get in there and rinse off. Sometimes that little pool isn’t even very clean, as you can see in the photo above, and yet it still manages to get all of the mud off me.

The capybara from the black lagoon

However, there are occasions when I get muddy when I don’t have the harness on. Typically this is by rolling in my pond. My pond isn’t always muddy, as it apparently wasn’t in the above photo, but when it is! Oh! When it is, how wonderful the mud is! How black and gooey! The very best mud in the world! And this can provide an opportunity. If no one is watching, I can come in the house and do a little redecorating.

Normally I am not a sneaky capybara, but when I heard Stacy Winnick was coming to visit me, I just had to fix up the house for her. She was scheduled to arrive on Thursday evening, so Wednesday, I did some serious mud rolling, waited for the opportune time and voilâ! (Hint: One should always speak a little French when talking about artistic endeavors such as interior decorating.)

I call this "Modern Mud"

One of my favorite touches was coating my bed in mud. This is like an artist’s signature saying, “this is my work, your admiration and envy are accepted.”

My pawprints lead the way

The hallway is the most under-appreciated room in the house. I took care of that by putting my special pawprint design all over it. And then a little coda when you get into the master bedroom, the more private part of the house. (Not that Melly didn’t let everyone see us in her bed on national television!) I was especially proud of my artistry in this area. Just the right amount of mud in just the right places.

My bathroom, with mud

It is important not to forget the small things. You cannot stop with muddy carpets and tile floors. How odd would that look if all of the walls and doors were clean? Here is an example of how to extend the theme upward. To do this kind of work, you have to make sure you have a very muddy nose. I forgot to get a photo of it but I also shook myself in various places around the house, next to the stone fireplace and in the hallway for example. A good shake of a muddy body sends an impressively expressive mud splatter that adheres well to vertical surfaces.

By this time I can imagine that all of my readers are in awe of my talent. But, like most great artists, I am unappreciated. When Melly got home from work on Wednesday, she was not at all proud of me! Instead she seemed a little angry. (Oddly, her anger was directed at Rick and not at me. This may be because Rick’s artistic sensibilities run more in line with mine than with Melly’s.) Then she took Thursday off and spent the whole day erasing my work! She cleaned the walls, she vacuumed and she shampooed the carpets! She has absolutely no respect for art! By the time Stacy arrived, you could hardly even tell that I had done anything at all.


8 comments to Redecorating

  • Raquel

    Sorry to say this to you, Gari… I’m sure you are a great mud artist, but I understand poor Melly!! I have four male guinea pigs. Piggies don’t like to roll in mud like you cappys, but they LOVE to cover all the floor and every surface available in piss and poop (to show their talent in decorating territory to the world). They are all great “body-painers”, I’m sure, but… The cleaning afterwards is all on me!

  • lynn

    This is fabulous!!!!
    Loved every word of it.

    On the other hand I have to side w/Melly on this one…wth was Rick thinking??

  • Alena Loiselle

    Tsk! All that hard work, down the drain. At lest she took photos for the next gallery show.

  • BettyMc

    Gari, You would love my 2 Basset Hound’s work (after a rainy day in the backyard)they have 8 pig paws and often redecorate the kitchen!

  • Chanda Bellick

    Gari I think your art work was amazing but just a little info about mud art and humans. Woman when we are expecting house guest like to get the house tidy and clean. Men on the other hand typically do appreciate mud especially if it there are two woman rolling in it. Lol
    I am sure if you lived in a barn Melly would have loved your work, she did at least take some photos to save so she must really secretly like it 🙂

  • Danielle

    Oh my my my. Poor Melly and Rick!
    It was beautiful mud art though, Gari. Abstract. I like that.

  • Spazkatt

    Sooo, I thought you would be interested to know that I found a familiar face in these photos!

  • Sara Beth

    Looks like it’s time to put in some large tile. He’d probably just muddy up any rugs then though. Lol. I fully expect my cats and dogs to do anything bad they do on the carpet now on whatever rugs we have… that is when I finally tear up the carpet to tile. It’s always on the carpet… always. At least Gari was nice enough to get some mud on the tile too. Haha.

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